Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
