So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
