why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have feelings that need drinking.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
