the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
