What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize