If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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