So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
