It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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