she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
