You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
