She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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