and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
