you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
sarcasm needs its own font
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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