so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
