i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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