It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize