I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
