Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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