Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
