hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
