I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
