We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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