he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
