you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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