Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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