I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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