I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
