just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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