So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
