I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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