theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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