Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
