I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
