i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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