bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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