It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
