Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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