You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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