She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
