is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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