Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
