Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
