highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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