he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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