Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
