a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
