my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize