I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
