I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
