i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
