I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
