Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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