....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
