So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
