just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.