so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again