all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dick very happy bro
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.