Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.