Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
