just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
