It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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