Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
