my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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