is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize