But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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