Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You made out with two different species that night
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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