guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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