ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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