Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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