Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
