Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
